living for solitude

These days i find myself preferring to rather enjoy my own company—too much to the point where it gets alarming how i don’t like being in a place with a lot of people (i never did anyway but i just prefer alone time so much more now ??). Today i found myself wanting to go away, whilst i don’t have the luxury of time to go far, i do have the luxury of living near the mountains—this is where my love for Montalban comes parading. I wanted to escape the hustle of the city this time.

Right after buying food for our dogs, i went on a mini #adventure. Barely 5 minutes away from our subdivision and i already feel like i’m in a different city. Going just under 30 mph, deeper to the mountains, my windows down and the cold wind gives me subtle embraces of cheer—the kind my soul needs. Following a road i’ve only been in twice in my lifetime and driving in it for the first time is the kind of cheap thrills i covet. And so i pushed and pushed until i’m at the entrance of Wawa Dam and Mt. Pamitinan—hikers and cyclers and families on their way to enjoy their Sunday.

I stopped for a while, just watching people, and the animals, and the trees and, the clouds—just observing. And it made me think that amidst all the chaos of the quarter life crisis, the bad cases of FOMO and the hunger of wanting more (instead of needing it), it really is the littlest of things that matter. And so i dug deep within me and told myself that it may take time for me to let go of all my greed, i know something better will replace it. It took me a while to be open with #vulnerability, i thought if i show even the slightest hint of weakness, i’d be a wimp. But the nakedness helped me patch myself up and deal with my #anxiety much better—for all the inevitable ways of life breaking me open, i’m ready to stitch myself back always. All i needed was a 20-minute drive of solitude and i’m okay now. That’s not much to ask for, i think.